Off Course…

My first real encounter with Meg Stuart was when she came to Istanbul in March, 2008, with a rich programme of a two-day workshop, presentation of her solo’s / impressions and screenings of dance videos she has choreographed. It was intensive and impressive. I was enjoying meeting one of very few exceptional figures -apart from Bausch of late 70s and early 80s- who continously and insistently questioned and blurred the space between dance and theater, thought and action, gesture and language, sound and image. It was apparent that while cruising in these liminal spaces, rather than simply searching for an “aesthetics of negation” based on subversion of dominant choreographic codes and conventions, she has managed to create a unique and idiosycratic vision of expression. As far as I’m concerned, her singularity was partly due to her approach to movement which, instead of pure physicality and conventional virtuosity, focused on searching the relation between physical and emotional states in continuous transformation. Surprisingly, although seen as one of the founding figures of contemporary European choreography, she was “not afraid of talking about”, or shouting in the studio, some of the “negative” words generally associated with it -i.e. emotions, the literal, narrative, pop and cliche. Last, but definitely not the least, considering not so uncommon narcissistic mystification in the fied, transparency in the way she made public her own methods of composition and creation by sharing them with workshop participants was strikingly valuable, and of course, worthy of esteem. 

When the possibility to work with Meg for a longer period of time -two weeks- emerged in September 2010, suddenly everything in my life became secondary. Maybe, it was because I was going to start dancing after one-and-a-half year break reserved for the completion of my Phd thesis and “obligatory” military service; or because I wanted to complete my own very useful but equally short workshop session with her in 2008; or because I was under the semi-hypnotic effect of her “Big” name and personal aura. Probably all, and more. What I knew for sure was that I was quite enthusiastic to get off course. I’ve always been familiar with the dark walls of garajistanbul both as a performer and as an audience, but they had rarely been as appealing as this before.

Off Course workshop period and the following presentation-performance, with one single word, was gratifying in its overall effect. Living the intensity of improvisation marathons -most of which lasted more than an hour- based on just one physical proposition, task or exercise; experiencing how transformative an improvisation can be once the state of relaxed responsiveness gained sustainability… For sure, they all contributed to that gratification. Thankfully, they were not the only ones.

The workshop process once more concretized the vitality of forming a company atmosphere where the choreographer, dancer, visual artist and musician invaded the same time and space, as that proved to be one of the crucial elements for a creative process to be fully effective. Although my own tendency to intellectualize –hopefully, not very often- had me question the shifting boundary between (supposedly intimate) self-exposure and the exhibitionistic display/disclosure (even in its designed and staged version), the workshop process was invaluable, as it reminded and encouraged me/us to surrender myself/ourselves to the moment, situation and each other in a context of mutual trust and recognition. Meg Stuart’s acute and sensitive eye, her excellent guidance and instant “feedback”ing, along with the way she approached to her performers, were vital clues for any model of artistic production, since under such supervision creative responsibilities and inputs of the performers never collided with the privileged position of the director-choreographer. Still, the workshop process once again showed that especially when they were more than willing to work with a choreographer and didn’t hesitate to abondon their habits and comfort zones upon the propositions and questions of her, the assembling of the individual dancers did make a difference regarding the efficiency both of the process and the final result.   

Initially, I had thought that at the end of Off Course I would make a clean break after having an intense workshop period with one of the most influential figures in contemporary dance, and experiencing and living through her way of composition and creation. I was wrong. Incompleteness and unfinishedness were the strongest feelings just after the third and last performance. It seems that the other participants and Meg too, have similar feelings. Hope, we’ll meet again…

Bedirhan Dehmen